


we've all got our junk

by honeyedgold



Series: daylights, sunsets, midnights, cups of coffee - (kaleidoscope side stories) [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: But not sexual, Kinktober 2018, M/M, as in hand-feeding, but safe for work i swear, very brief allusion to food play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 03:09:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyedgold/pseuds/honeyedgold
Summary: In which Victor Nikiforov is basically every single lactose intolerant person in the history of ever.





	we've all got our junk

**Author's Note:**

> This is within the universe of Kaleidoscope, my Sailor Moon AU for YOI, and takes place shortly before the start of the first chapter. Yuuri is a pyromancer (controlling fire and heat) and Victor is a cryomancer (ice and snow). Written for the “food play” prompt, Kinktober 2018.

Victor’s pillow whined something unintelligible.

“Can’t hear you.” 

“I said,” he propped himself up slightly with his hands, just enough that his mouth was no longer obstructed, “that I regret every single decision I’ve made. Kill me now, before I change my mind.” 

“Nice try, but no. I’m not getting married to a zombie. Necromancers cost a  _ fortune  _ to hire. Not ready to cut into my retirement fund just yet.” 

“Spoilsport.” 

“You deserve this, you know.” 

“You bought those matcha ice cream mochi.” 

“You’re the one who insisted I hand-feed them to you!  _ All nine of them! _ ” 

“In my defense, they were tiny,” grumbled the Russian. “How was I supposed to know they’d make me suffer?”

Yuuri huffed exasperatedly. “Vitya. We’ve been through this. You knew you are lactose intolerant after the  _ tamagoyaki, _ and the five cheese pizza, and the whipped cream on  _ my  _ hot chocolate, and the -”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” Victor finally managed to extricate himself from the fetal position he had been in for the past few hours. His joints complained loudly as he stretched, catlike, and yawned. Yuuri retrieved the (now frigid, after being practically pressed flat against Victor’s stomach) poodle-shaped heating pad from the couch and started idly turning it over in his hands, carefully tempering his power so as to avoid setting the plushie on fire. 

“But you were quite happy to help me make a dent in our food haul, weren’t you?” Victor pointed out as he rose and went over to the loveseat that was half occupied by Yuuri. He nearly sat on Yuuri’s tablet, which had been left on the empty space when it was exchanged with the stuffed dog. “Was it because I was…  _ just… that…  _ persuasive?” He purred, leaning into Yuuri as he settled down in the chair. 

Once upon a time, the latter would have turned bright red and started sputtering. As it was, Yuuri only chuckled softly. “Oh, please. I gave in because I figured it might teach you a lesson, but apparently it has yet to sink in that you should be officially banned from even looking at dairy.”

“I will look Death in the eyes and walk backwards into hell. With a milkshake.” 

“Exactly my point. But if you’re good about remembering to take your meds…” Yuuri fixed Victor with a coy smile. “I might just remember where we can get really, really amazing truffles that melt in your mouth.” He paused significantly before adding, “I’ll need your help with the cocoa powder afterwards, though. It just gets  _ all over  _ my fingers.” 

Victor looked like he just hit the jackpot. He started to say something - 

And then his stomach chose that very moment to burble menacingly. Its owner promptly turned the color of the previously discussed matcha ice cream mochi and dashed off at a speed that would far outstrip the Road Runner. 

For his part, Yuuri laughed until he cried. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from “My Junk”, a song in the musical “Spring Awakening”. I would… not recommend looking it up if you are squeamish. It is decidedly not safe for work. =)) 
> 
> Written in one go because I was suffering from my Cadbury drinking chocolate (laced with coffee) and needed to unload it on someone. Unlike Victor, I did take my lactase pills. It just wasn’t enough, apparently… (I have, however, been known for pulling this exact same stunt.)
> 
> Victor managed to eat nine ice cream mochi balls in one go because... well. He's a cryomancer. The cold never bothered him anyway. 
> 
> ...I'll see myself out.


End file.
